Nightcast: September 22, 2012

Anchorman: Well, here on Nightcast, we've been accused of one-sidedness in our reporting, so today we'll be talking to some of those noisy protestors that are against the new golf course. James Tucker is at the site with the protestors, trying to talk some sense into them. Are you making any progress with that, Jim? (Tucker plants a tee and places a golf ball on it, then draws a club from his bag.) Tucker: Gentlemen, what's this about disturbing the peace of buried ancestors? We're not disturbing anyone's peace. Why, golf is the most tranquil sport on Earth. (He drives the ball.) Protestor: You take sacred land and use it for meaningless sport. Tucker: Meaningless? Well, I for one have a ball to look for. Shouldn't you be hunting for food or something? Protestor: There was a massacre here. A whole unit of cavalry was wiped out. They were commanded by a Colonel Jeremiah Tucker. Tucker: Granddaddy? That was just a myth. (He goes into the woods and out of view. He hears the thunder of hooves and native war cries closing in and his voice can still be heard.) What's that? Did you hear that? Protestor: I didn't hear anything. (Tucker screams for help, but his voice is covered by the violent sounds of an invisible massacre.)
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© 2007, 2012. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.