War Story: Robot Robot Monster

I heard Seth MacFarlane got punched out. Announcer: By the end of the twenty-first century, all front line military duties had been passed to robots. But they still needed humans to manage them and this put people in a life threatening situation. Thus it was decided to develop a robot that could manage the other robots in the field - a robot robot. (A military testing ground. A platoon of robot robots stand in a line with their remote controls and await instructions.) General: Are you sure these gadgets of yours will hold up under fire? Businessman: I don't know, General. General: All right then, let's try them out. (To the platoon:) Present arms! (The machines hold out their arms. The general looks at the businessman.) Businessman: I'm afraid you'll have to be more precise with your orders. General: I see. Very well. Activate remote controls! (The machines comply, bringing a platoon of combat robots into view.) Attack! (The combat robots head off to battle.) All right. Tell the artillery to open fire on them. (With a loud blast, the first shell sails in and blows apart two of the combat machines. The shelling continues until all of the them are destroyed.) Hm. They seem to be handling the stress all right. Now for the final test. (To the platoon:) We are out of combat robots. Lay down your remote controls and take out your guns. (The machines comply.) Attack! (The machines refuse.) I said, attack! Attack! Why won't they attack? Businessman: That sounds like a question for the inventor. General: Well get him out here. Businessman: Yes, sir. (Into his cellphone) Jacob, can you come out here for a minute? The general wants to speak with you. (pause) Here he comes now. (Enter Jacob, a robot in a lab coat.) Jacob: Is there a problem here?
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© 2007, 2012. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.